Marshall: Wait a minute, could it be that Barney Stinson actually wants us to have kids?
Christof Doppelganger (Barney): Who is this “Barney”? Take American chill pill.
(via thebarney)
Ted: 200 hundred is TOO many.
Barney: It’s not too many.
Ted: It’s TOO many.
Marshall: It’s not too many.
Barney: Thank you!
Marshall: Oh no, don’t get me wrong, you’re disgusting, and the cops should probably clamp a boot on your genitals, but that number should be higher. After Barney told me about all this, I crunched the numbers and - well - I had some charts made up. Barney here hits on roughly 20 girls a week.
Barney: Whoa, it’s wayy more than 20. And be smooth.. don’t do nothin’ roughly.
Marshall: Let’s say 20. So 20 girls a week means 1040 girls a year. In Barney’s 16 years of sexual activity, that means he’s hit on 16,640 girls. Now, if he’s bedded 199 of them, that is a success rate of … a little over 1%. That’s a batting average of 12. Eight times worse than the career batting average of one-handed pitcher - that’s right - PITCHER, Jim Abbott.
Barney: (points at Ted) Jealous. (points at Marshall) Jealous. (points at Jim Abbott) Hero. (points at Robin) Suspiciously quiet during this conversation about number of sex partners. (points at himself) HERO. It’s the grand total, that’s the only number that matters.
(via thebarney)
